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Throwing the blame

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So hi tumblr, I’m writing again.

At this very moment, My heart is breaking, tears are falling and I’m breaking into pieces. I thought I got used to it, but maybe not.

I can’t feel him, he seems so far even when I’m just sitting beside him. Looking at him, seeing him looking so far breaks my heart. Whenever he touches my face, I feel the butterflies but the butterflies seemed to be dying slowly…&softly.

I didn’t expect this things to be like this. Hahaha tumblr, why am I crying? I’m supposed to be smiling and enjoying since I’ve got what I’ve asked for. But what I’ve asked.. Well maybe what I’ve ‘wished for’ is so wrong.

I want to type everything. I really loved to. But I don’t have the guts to do so. I’ll just lie here in my bed, cry under my pillow and ifnore the world. And when I wake up, the next thing I’ll do is to to pretend…

Thanks to my bed, to tumblr and to my teddies. I never told anyone about this, not even steff knows this. Consider yourself guys (yes you, you’re reading this) special.


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